There has to be a hundred definitions for the word love; the hard part is narrowing that definition into a single sentence or paragraph even. It would take an entire lifetime to recite one's definition of love; it cannot be spoken of as much as it can be lived.
I like how Raymond Carver described love through the actions, body language, and dialog of his characters instead of writing out a definiton or trying to explain what love is. Sure his characters took a few swings at trying to define love, but even they went back and forth and never really agreed with each other. Or at least Mel and Terri didn't agree. It makes me wonder what Carver's explanation of love would be, since there was never a solution at the end. Maybe his answer is that love changes from person to person, depending on how we choose to live and respond to love.
One of the first lines that really caught my attention in this piece was in lines 38-39:
"It was love," Terri said. "Sure, it's abnormal in most people's eyes. But he was willing to die for it. He did die for it."
If I took these sentences out of the context of this story, I could totally relate this to the love of Christ. His love was definitely abnormal compared to the world. He loved the people who hated him, who were dirty and filthy, and who had nothing in common with him. Most people love because it is comfortable and feels right; I don't think the kind of love Christ calls us to have is always going to be comfortable. We are called to love people who mock the very essence of our purpose for living. That doesn't sound appealing to me; yet that is what Christ did and what he calls us to do. In fact, he is so passionate about this kind of love that he died for it. I haven't heard of anyone who died for something they didn't truly believe in. He lived for this love and died for this love.
But let's go back to the context of the story and then read lines 38-39. This man died because of the love he had for Terri. But the love he had for her was lived out through hateful acts. Is this truly love? Could Terri's perspective of love be skewed, possibly by her own life expereiences? If I had to guess, that is what is happening here. Mel went to seminary, although he dropped out. But that experience helped to shape his definition of love. Laura and Nick have their own definition of love that seems to be shaped by the relationship they have with one another.
I'm sure my life experiences are shaping my definition of love as well. But I pray that my experiences will only lead me closer to the definition of love that God has laid out for us in His Word. So many verses come to mind that it is hard to use just one to describe the love of God. However, this particular verse has a lot of meaning and obligation to it, so I would like to leave you with ~John 15:13~
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
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Very well written post!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the possibility that Terri's perspective of love could have very well been skewed. I mean how many of us can say that someone killed themselves for us? I believe that would have a huge impact on my thought process concerning love if I were Terri.
I also agree with our life experiences influencing everyone's opinion on love just like you covered in your last paragraph.
Here's an insight: "one's definition of love; it cannot be spoken of as much as it can be lived."
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think it is perceptive of you to pick up on Carver using actions to display meaning instead of just the words that the characters speak.